I've felt vaguely off-colour all weekend: headachy, a little sick, terribly, terribly tired. All this is far from unusual, but does not for fascinating blogging make. Mostly I've either been faffing about on the computer (playing mindless card-matching games, which is hardly what I feel we were put on god's earth for), sleeping, or trying to read. Phoebe has been keeping me company, sleeping in the box file I keep my fic in which, frankly, is probably a far better use for it. She looks very sweet, but is so terribly lumpy. I've tried cutting the lumps out, but now she has bald patches. Ooops. Am bad mother.
We managed Tesco today, but it was hellish. We didn't go till quite late, by which time you would think the crowds (and the Village traffic) would have died down, but no, it was hideously crowded, full of fat people and screaming children. And screaming fat children. (Granted, J and I only added to the fat people's numbers, but that's not the point.) I couldn't find couscous, they didn't have the food the cats currently favour, and the free-range eggs were shelved so that they could only be bought by GIANTS.
I feel terribly sad, and terribly lonely. Again, this is scarcely unusual, and entirely uninteresting. I don't really know why I bother to mention it at all, except perhaps so that it can be used as evidence at some future date. "Did she seem depressed at all?" "No ..." "WRONG!" H'm. That's a bit like 'I'll just die, and then you'll be sorry!', isn't it? Never mind. Put it down to the headache. Or to reality. Whatever.
A plot bunny nibbled around the edges of my mind today, for the first time in a long, long while, but I don't seem to have the words to write it. I'm afraid that if I stop writing I shall forget how, and I haven't written anything but drabbles and snippets since ... I don't remember what was the last long thing I wrote. Hardly surprising, as I'm sure it was rubbish, and best forgotten anyway, but it's all I can do and, I suppose, I should be grateful for that much. (Apparently I am not.) Still: I am sure the world is not holding its breath for a new SN fic from me or, indeed, a new SN fic from anyone, so, again: never mind.
'Whatever' and 'never mind' are going to be my epitaphs, I can see this.
